An Appalling State of Affairs

(Being an unrecorded scene or two from the lives of those fearsome creatures, the Nazgûl, and the unfortunate habbits of several of them.)

Nazgûl chorus: "Shire....Baggins...."
Nazgûl #9 to passing Hobbit: "Got any weed?"
Angmar: *whack* "We're on a mission here!"
Nazgûl #9: "So am I!"
Nazgûl #7: "Hey Angmar, m'man, chill. Have a toke."
Angmar: "Seven, you pothead! You're supposed to be straight for this mission!"
Nazgûl #5: "Lookit the pretty colors..."
Angmar: "Five, not you too!"

One day later:

Angmar: "Morgoth's balls, what is THAT?"
Nazgûl #7: "'S'my cloak, dude. So we can have dealings with the living and shit."
Angmar: "That is NOT within the accepted colour scheme."
Nazgûl #7: "Man, you need some energy in your life....in your life, yeah." *giggle*
Angmar: "Tie-dye is NOT on his Lordship's list of heraldic colors!"
Nazgûl #7: "C'mon, lighten up! Black is SO Second Age!"
Nazgûl #5: "Lighten up!" *snicker* *puff-puff*
Angmar: "Will you put out those pipes before... WHAT did you do to your horse?!!"
Nazgûl #7: "Be cool, babe, it's only a safety reflector in his tail."
Nazgûl #5: "And a little hoof-glitter. I think it looks just darling."
Angmar: "I will NOT hyperventilate, I will NOT..."
Nazgûl #4: "Whoa, great shriek, Boss!"

Beware the gurgling of the Morgul-bong.

By A. Vulgarweed and Murasaki99

Disclaimer - no we don't claim any of these guys. We're just borrowing them for a little non-profit silliness. JRR Tolkien still owns them.