S: Some girls are ugly, but BYU coeds are the exception. BYU coeds are exceptionally ugly.
Q: How are BYU coeds like paint?
A: Get them all stirred up and you can't get them off your hands.
Q: What's the difference between a BYU coed and a hippopotumus?
A: About 40 lbs.
Q: How do you make up the difference?
A: Force feed the hippo.
S: A BYU coed went to the health center. "I have a cold in my head," she told the nurse. "Well, that's better than nothing," the nurse replied.
Q: Did you hear about the truckload of pigs that got loose on the BYU
campus?
A: They had to check I.D.s to reload the truck.
Q: What's the difference between a BYU coed and a refrigerator?
A: The coed can hold more food.
Q: Why do BYU coeds like to be alone?
A: Because two's a crowd.
Q: What is the thinnest part of a BYU coed?
A: The hair on her palms.
S: Did you hear about the carload of BYU coeds who froze to death at the drive-in movie? They went to see the movie, "Closed for winter."
Q: Why did they have to enlarge BYU's stadium?
A: So more coeds could sit in the stands.
Q: Did you hear about the engaged BYU coed who stayed up all night studying
for her blood test?
S: BYU coeds can be had for a song-- "The Wedding March."
Q: What's does a BYU coed and a quarter at the bottom
of the toilet have in common?
A: Everyone knows they're there, but nobody wants to take them
out.
S: There's one good thing about a BYU coed's body--it isn't as ugly as her face.
Q: What's 36-24-32?
A: A BYU coed's leg.
S: It takes at least three BYU coeds to play hid-n-seek. One goes to hide and the other two try to figure out who left.
Q: How do you tell a smart BYU coed?
A: Her lips don't move when she reads to herself.
S: One BYU coed put on a clean pair of socks every day. By the end of the week she couldn't get her shoes on.
S: BYU coeds have that far-away look. The farther away they get, the better they look.
Q: How did the BYU coed get rid of her freckles?
A: She washed her mirror.
Q: Did you hear about the lucky BYU coed who had a date every Friday night
last semester?
A: She kept them in her refrigerator so they'd stay fresh all semester
long.
Q: How is a BYU coed like Ms. Pac-Man?
A: They both eat everything in sight.
Q: Why did BYU Security raid a candle-passing in the girl's dorm?
A: They thought they were breaking up a dope ring.
Q: What's a BYU coed's favorite dress shop?
A: Acme Tent & Awning.
Q: What's the difference between a BYU coed and a rooster?
A: Roosters say "cockadoodledo" but BYU coeds say "any dude'll do."
Q: Why didn't the BYU coed use her water skis?
A: She couldn't find a lake on a hill.
S: Some BYU coeds would make great fullbacks. Expecially the ones with the license plates on their charm bracelets.
S: A BYU coed asked a store clerk, "Can I put this wallpaper on myself?" "Yes, but it will look better on the wall," he said.
Q: What do you call a swimming pool full of BYU coeds?
A: The Bay of Pigs.
S: There are two kinds of BYU coeds--good-looking ones and sweet spirits.
Q: Did you hear about the BYU coeds who were stuck on the escalator at University Mall for two housr during a power outage?
Q: What has an I.Q. of 144?
A: Twelve BYU coeds.
S: A BYU coed missed this question on her religion test: "Where was Solomon's temple?" She answered, "On the side of his head."
S: Someone once asked a BYU coed, "Are all girls as stupid as you are?" She answered, "No. Look how many single girls there are at BYU."
S: A BYU guy approached a BYU coed with this old line, "Haven't I seen you somewhere before?" She replied, "Yes. I have been somewhere before."
Q: What's the difference between a BYU coed and a palm tree?
A: A palm tree has dates.
Q: How do you get a BYU coed to go off her diet?
A: Open a Twinkie within two miles of Provo.
Q: What's worse than being a BYU coed?
A: Being behind one in a cafeteria line.
S: If a BYU coed ever said what she thought she'd be speechless.
Q: How do you get 100 BYU coeds into a Volkswagen?
A: Toss in a diamond ring.
Q: How does a guy get them out again?
A: Tell the BYU coeds he's a non-member.
Q: Why do BYU coeds wear stripes?
A: So you can tell if they're standing up or lying down.
Q: Why do BYU coeds have such a terrible time in the morning?
A: They're so fat they rock themselves to sleep trying to get up.
Q: What happens when a BYU coed walks into a room?
A: The mice jump up on chairs.
Q: What's the thinnest book in the BYU library?
A: "BYU's Beauty Queens."
Q: What do you get when you cross a BYU coed with a pig?
A: Nothing. There are some things a pig won't do.
S: "Do you remember when you were born?" a friend asked a BYU coed. "No, I was too young."
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